Modern Love

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Modern Love

Love; how much weight these four letters carry, people from all corners of the world trying to express their love and affection for each other. Love is a strong force and an important part of our daily life. I believe that without love, the world would be a different place altogether. People meet others and fall in love, while others are yet to experience the happiness that comes with love. At times we, one may try so hard to find love, whether self-love, love for others, friendship, or family love and end up failing to experience the true feeling of love. However, this does not mean that one should remain holed up and pent-up in negativity due to frustrations experienced while trying to find love. Two years ago, I came across “somebody” whom I thought would turn out as my ultimate love but in turned out that I was wrong.

I met this particular woman while I was doing my daily errands, and I was not impressed at first sight. She looked a simple yet classy woman, just like a many of the women I had met before. One week later, I met the woman for the second time and I was still hesitant to interact with her. However, I realized something that was very appealing about her; her mode of dressing and classy cornrow hairstyle. I made my first move and greeted her with a simple hello! Her response with a fast “hey” accompanied with a pleasant smile left me feeling privileged that I had managed to capture her attention. I did not hesitate to introduce myself but she seemed more reserved. I was strongly attracted to her nerd and fashionista personality, her behavior, her smile, and her outward appearance. I felt confused and did not know whether to tell her about how I felt towards her because I was not certain she would feel the same about it. Surprisingly, the woman reached into her handbag and gave me her business card and requested that I should contact her later in the evening.

I took our interactions to a whole new level and invited her for a nature walk on one Saturday evening but she was fast to turn down the invitation. She explained that she had a tight schedule and other things to attend to. Two weeks later, I invited her for a luncheon and this time she responded with an affirmative “no” and asked me to exercise some patience. This left me resentful and frustrated and feeling like an idiot for humiliating stings I earned myself. At this point, I gathered my courage and asked her whether she was dating someone and her response left me in shatters. All along, I had made deliberate efforts to give her cues that I liked and was interested in her. She confirmed that she had a boyfriend and implored that should tone down with contacting her as this would cause other problems in her relationship. I felt disappointed and her response was more like a stab through my heart. The feelings I had towards her started to fade away due to growing resentment and the fact that I did not get a chance to express my feelings and perhaps start a relationship with her.

I strongly feel that this experience had a significant impact on how I perceive love and intimate relationships today. Right now, I consider various options before deciding on who to love and whether to escalate friendships into intimate relationships or maintain friendship. I think that everyone should struggle to get what we want since nothing comes easy, including love. Finding the right person to love and getting them to love you is enough challenge and everyone should be ready to fight for that love. For someone to succeed in life, irrespective of the circumstances, he/she must be ready to exert the efforts required. I believe that if you really desire to win someone’s love, you must be ready to fight and find a way to fit into their lives, despite the conditions that may naturally create an impediment. Boldness matters largely when it comes to winning someone’s love. People must shy from the fear that holds them back and prevents them from expressing their feelings to those they love. It is important to understand that love is a normal feeling and it is acceptable to talk about inner feelings to those whom they matter the most. Everyone has the right to love whoever they want and it is not a crime to develop love feelings for a person even though he/she may not reciprocate that feeling. While falling in love with someone, one should anticipate any outcomes and must be ready to deal with the outcomes without becoming frustrated or disappointed. I you come across a person and develop a strong attraction towards him/her, it is your choice to convey your feelings or contain them depending on the perceived utility the choices at hand. Loving and finding reciprocated love is challenging and everyone must be willing to fight to the end, because without putting the necessary efforts, everything will always seem hard to achieve.